House Rules.
First and Foremost, Welcome.
Now, guidelines.
Read. my scribbles.
Feel. my emotions.
Smile. for me.
Dance. in joy.
Comment. in my favour.
And if you don't already know,
Slip. on my banana peels. =P
Saturday, November 7, 2009
6 November 2009
Met up with Cynthia, Joashua and Desmond Shen today. Had a fun time catching up, sat at Coffee Club just outside Tampines 1 mall. Felt that Desmond was a little uncomfortable in meeting up, but I was really trying to engage in conversation so it would not seem like I do not welcome him. It was really nice seeing them after 6 years. Time flies, so does your youth. After dinner, Desmond left to meet his friends. We went to Pasir Ris beach where we talked about what we had been doing after 'O' levels. Sat down on the rocks, and looked out at the vast black sea... (well, it was 1am, so...) Anyways, we spoke alot on our low self-esteem. I think it was a really good chat. I don't think I'll ever forget that memory. Sadly, we didn't take any pictures for keepsake. I think we should do that in future. I look forward to seeing them soon again.
7 November 2009
Went out with Amelia and Cheryl today. Had great fun! Took many pictures at Hong Kong Cafe and Esplanade Rooftop. lol. Will post some pictrues if I'm in the mood. I received my present from them: a green top from Dorothy Perkins! lol. I'm in need of some new clothes, actually. I'm just too lazy to shop around for clothes, so this was a timely gift. Tomorrow is Cheryl's 23rd birthday! haha. I hope she had fun meeting us, and I do hope that more good things will come her way. Was totally shocked when she told us that she was involved in a car accident recently. Her car tyre was punctured and she swerved into the 3rd lane and stopped there. Thank God that it was really late at night and there weren't many cars. Anyway, I still hope that she will enjoy herself tomorrow and many many more tomorrows after that!
We also spoke on Amelia's crush on a younger guy. I think that is perfectly normal. A man's level of maturity is not determined by his age, but his experiences in life. You know, what he's been through and what he has learnt from it. And when I say younger, I don't mean like, 10 years younger. Just a few years younger. That's ok... right? What is wrong with having some fun? Why is loving someone or having a crush on someone so painful?
I don't think I have ever gone through true love... looking back at my memories, I realise that I haven't been building up any good memories with guys whom I have been with. No matter what, whether I ditched them or they ditched me... I learnt that when a relationship fails, no one party can absolve from the blame of destroying it. It takes two hands to clap... when it doesn't work out, it won't. Sure, there'll be sadness... crying... hurt and pain. But when you are able to get over it and let it go... you find a new person in yourself. The value of experience is invaluable. In life, you can experience love so many times... but each time is different. Each time you learn new things from new relationships. I'm just sad that I stopped learning since the last one. But then again, I don't know if I'm ready for another relationship. I mean, for others to love and accept you, you must first learn to love and accept yourself. Right?
If I can't even do that, how am I supposed to feel like I deserve the other party's love? I want to accept and start a new relationship only when I feel like I deserve it, you know? It's hard when all your friends already have their significant other. Even my sister. And sometimes, I am jealous. Really am. I hope I don't have to look too hard for my Mr Right. I'm really lazy. Maybe I shouldn't, but oh well I don't know. What I know of now, is to savour every moment of life. I'm glad I'm a human being, I'm glad that I live in Singapore. I'm glad for so many good things around me, that sometimes I wonder if it's worth it reminding myself of the bad things. I am trying to quit that habit of mine, of course. Well, I just think that we should enjoy ourselves with people whom we love, people whom we have a crush on, our girlfriends and boyfriends.
Just enjoy every moment of it.. just like there's no tomorrow.
xoxo Jank