House Rules.
First and Foremost, Welcome.
Now, guidelines.
Read. my scribbles.
Feel. my emotions.
Smile. for me.
Dance. in joy.
Comment. in my favour.
And if you don't already know,
Slip. on my banana peels. =P
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Today I went to get a drink, was expecting to see Edwin, but he wasn't there. I think he's not on duty today. Had expected to have some sunshine because of my long crappy day at work, but no luck, no silver lining.On top of that, recently, my boss is really mean in the way she talks to me. She's trying very hard to be mean, which is what really irritates me. Usually, she's really nice and all, she's not a person whom you'd think say mean or nasty things to you (let's call her Mean Boss for now). Well, I have this other colleague (same level as my boss, let's call him Funny Mean Boss) who is naturally mean like, from day 1 of work.
I really used to dislike him, but then I realised that he wasn't really mean like, mean. But he's just mean in the way he talks, usually you just need some intelligence and quick wit to know he's saying something mean to you. Which is really interesting. But the remarks he makes are usually, funnily mean. (pardon that phrase I just used. There isn't really any better way to put it.) He clicks really well with me and another colleague of mine (same level). And I think my boss (the recently mean one), is just trying to 'fit' in. Hence those remarks. But because we are not that close, I'm actually offended by her remarks and she thinks I'm really okay with it. You don't actually need wit to know what she's saying. Mostly because she doesn't really know what she's saying herself, I guess. Like, after offending others.
Here I am, trying to build up our relationship and making it better, and she's trying to hurt me with all those untactful and almost retarded remarks of hers.
Really, she's pushing the limit that I have for her. And for me, I'm a super bitch. So I don't really take well to people who have overstepped the boundaries and limits in which I have set for them. She better watch her steps, then. I have tried hinting to her not to be that way. Somehow she just doesn't get it, sadly. Or probably, she just wants to be that way. I'm not an easy target to bully you know. It's just that I do not want to retaliate and make things ugly. And my colleagues have said that I did the right thing, being the bigger person.
However, they also advised me to sit down and talk to her. Hey, hello! How do you start off? Like this?
Me: Hey, I have something to tell you.
M.B (Mean Boss): Yes?
Me: Why are you so mean to me? Why are you treating me this way? Are you trying to be like F.B.M (Funny Mean Boss)?
M.B.: Why do you think that way of me? (sad face) What have I done? Did I say anything wrong?
Me: ....
*awkward silence*
No! Not going to have that talk. It is strange. Probably I have hurt her with my remarks and all in the past. But hey, i'm changing. I'm trying to adapt to her. But I really hope it's not revenge on me or something, you know. I'm trying hard to help her with stuff at work and support her like what a nice subordinate should do. But sometimes I just feel that if it's your job, do it. You know?
Okay, I know i'm going away from the main point. But on the whole, she somehow disappoints me more than impresses me. I'm really quite sad and sian (term used for super boredom) whenever I remember that I have to step into that office and be faced with such pressure. The pressure doesn't come only from crazy customers we face at work. The pressure also comes from her remarks and some times inability to help me solve my problems. I'm also pressurized by myself to keep that limit gauge I have for her from bursting and overflowing.
I'm really a tired person, and I'm only 21 years old! MY GAWD. I feel like i'm wasting my life away. I even look fucking older now that all my worry lines are showing.
HELP!
Inject some Edwin smile into my life!
xoxo Jank
Today's song:
The Pierces - Boring
Friday, May 1, 2009
Edwin Lau's smile is so nice! He's not exactly handsome or suave... but he looks so interesting to me (in a good way). =)I may not see him again though, he may not even remember me or know of my existance. Which, reminds me of this quote I read from Law of Ueki 2 comic (ending of chapter 1).
....................................................................................
Throughout life, people only get one single chance to meet one another.
Sometimes this single moment could be more important than life itself.
To meet again...
Is merely based on luck.
....................................................................................
Today's song:
SG 워너비( SG Wannabe) - 운명을 거슬러 (Reverse Fate)
I hope I will be able to see you again, please remember me! =)
xoxo Jank