House Rules.
First and Foremost, Welcome.
Now, guidelines.
Read. my scribbles.
Feel. my emotions.
Smile. for me.
Dance. in joy.
Comment. in my favour.
And if you don't already know,
Slip. on my banana peels. =P
Friday, November 13, 2009
Gawd, I've been hit with high fever for the past couple of days. Couldn't do anything, just laid on my bed and slept all day. Couldn't eat too.. throat was aching like crazy. Couple of times I just wanted to get out of bed to do my assignment. But I couldn't! Sheesh. Sure hope God sees me through this important assignments! I'm on homestretch, and I really don't wanna wreck it now. Another 6 days left to hand up the assignment... shucks, I feel so... screwed.xoxo Jank
Saturday, November 7, 2009
6 November 2009
Met up with Cynthia, Joashua and Desmond Shen today. Had a fun time catching up, sat at Coffee Club just outside Tampines 1 mall. Felt that Desmond was a little uncomfortable in meeting up, but I was really trying to engage in conversation so it would not seem like I do not welcome him. It was really nice seeing them after 6 years. Time flies, so does your youth. After dinner, Desmond left to meet his friends. We went to Pasir Ris beach where we talked about what we had been doing after 'O' levels. Sat down on the rocks, and looked out at the vast black sea... (well, it was 1am, so...) Anyways, we spoke alot on our low self-esteem. I think it was a really good chat. I don't think I'll ever forget that memory. Sadly, we didn't take any pictures for keepsake. I think we should do that in future. I look forward to seeing them soon again.
7 November 2009
Went out with Amelia and Cheryl today. Had great fun! Took many pictures at Hong Kong Cafe and Esplanade Rooftop. lol. Will post some pictrues if I'm in the mood. I received my present from them: a green top from Dorothy Perkins! lol. I'm in need of some new clothes, actually. I'm just too lazy to shop around for clothes, so this was a timely gift. Tomorrow is Cheryl's 23rd birthday! haha. I hope she had fun meeting us, and I do hope that more good things will come her way. Was totally shocked when she told us that she was involved in a car accident recently. Her car tyre was punctured and she swerved into the 3rd lane and stopped there. Thank God that it was really late at night and there weren't many cars. Anyway, I still hope that she will enjoy herself tomorrow and many many more tomorrows after that!
We also spoke on Amelia's crush on a younger guy. I think that is perfectly normal. A man's level of maturity is not determined by his age, but his experiences in life. You know, what he's been through and what he has learnt from it. And when I say younger, I don't mean like, 10 years younger. Just a few years younger. That's ok... right? What is wrong with having some fun? Why is loving someone or having a crush on someone so painful?
I don't think I have ever gone through true love... looking back at my memories, I realise that I haven't been building up any good memories with guys whom I have been with. No matter what, whether I ditched them or they ditched me... I learnt that when a relationship fails, no one party can absolve from the blame of destroying it. It takes two hands to clap... when it doesn't work out, it won't. Sure, there'll be sadness... crying... hurt and pain. But when you are able to get over it and let it go... you find a new person in yourself. The value of experience is invaluable. In life, you can experience love so many times... but each time is different. Each time you learn new things from new relationships. I'm just sad that I stopped learning since the last one. But then again, I don't know if I'm ready for another relationship. I mean, for others to love and accept you, you must first learn to love and accept yourself. Right?
If I can't even do that, how am I supposed to feel like I deserve the other party's love? I want to accept and start a new relationship only when I feel like I deserve it, you know? It's hard when all your friends already have their significant other. Even my sister. And sometimes, I am jealous. Really am. I hope I don't have to look too hard for my Mr Right. I'm really lazy. Maybe I shouldn't, but oh well I don't know. What I know of now, is to savour every moment of life. I'm glad I'm a human being, I'm glad that I live in Singapore. I'm glad for so many good things around me, that sometimes I wonder if it's worth it reminding myself of the bad things. I am trying to quit that habit of mine, of course. Well, I just think that we should enjoy ourselves with people whom we love, people whom we have a crush on, our girlfriends and boyfriends.
Just enjoy every moment of it.. just like there's no tomorrow.
xoxo Jank
Sunday, November 1, 2009
UPDATE (11.47pm, 1 November 2009): Wow, i don't get it. 2 blog posts in a day? Come on. There's gotta be something else to do.... ... ...
(Like checking out my friend's pictures on facebook.)
Which... was what I did. And it made me really sad. And jealous. At the same time. Well, I am really jealous that other people seem to have so many more friends than I do! Issit because I don't hang out with other people long enough? Issit because I totally work and tire myself out so I don't have energy to go out with my friends?
I can't blame them... everytime someone asks me out, I just don't really wanna stay out cos I don't feel comfortable being in my clothes.They're getting tighter and tighter. I can't exactly breathe in them. And yet I don't wanna buy new (larger sized) clothes. The more of such clothes I buy, the more I let myself go by eatingl I practically tell myself that I can still eat cos I can still find clothes that fit! I don't wanna have to indulge in that anymore.
I have to lose weight. I wanna do something that makes me feel proud of myself. I wanna start something and see it through. Which I never exactly did for all my past diets. I've got to buck up!!!!!!!!
xoxo Jank
Today was such a short day! These are the days which makes me feel like 24 are just not enough. lol. Well, woke up at like, 10am this morning… haven’t woke up so late for a super long time! (That explains my dark eye rings / bags whatever.) Then I went to Changi Airport’s Shanghai Imperial Treasure (Terminal 3). Well the food there is pretty ok. It’s around the same price as Crystal Jade. But I like that they have yang zhi gan lu at that place. Well, that’s about it.
My birthday was last week. Wow, time flies. I”m like already 1 week into my 22nd year on earth. It’s been good so far, but somehow I’m lacking the essence of romance. 22 years old now, need to experience some sort of romantic feeling before I go devoid of it all. But who can I blame? Like my friends say, I just don’t wanna step out of my comfort zone. Well, that’s because only in my comfort zone may i wear my ugly loose clothings and stuff my face without having been laughed at. That having said, I gained some weight again. Went for my health check up yesterday. I really have to at least start losing some weight! Gosh, I hate my procrastination! I have to be determined! Just like the biggest losers. They are by far the coolest ‘losers’ I have ever seen. lol.
Then after coming back from stuffing my face in the restaurant, I received an sms from a friend… telling me ‘happy belated birthday’. Well, at least this time he remembered. But I ain’t expecting much. I quarrelled with him over a year ago, and he didn’t even call me back. Said he was waiting for me to call me back instead. Can you imagine that. Oh well, there are always reasons and excuses. Just like how I always find excuses for myself to eat. That’s a bad habit. Mine, and his. lol. Well, you understand. Ciao for now. gonna eat again.
I know, I know, i’m starting tomorrow! lol. =X
xoxo Jank
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Those who used to be fatter than me in secondary school are now skinnier than me! I keep watching the biggest loser but I don't lose anything. I don't get movin. Come to think about it... I AM the biggest loser!I MUST LOSE 20 KG by XMAS!
This thus summarizes my emotions for the day.
xoxo Jank
Monday, August 17, 2009
Curly or straight hair, I'm still who I was.That's the name of this blog post. I just straightened my hair the other day! My chinese friends say my face looks bigger and they like my curly hair better. My malay and indian friends tell me I look better with straight hair.
That tells me alot. lol.
Anyway, let me repeat, Curly or straight hair, I'm still who I was.
By the way, I've procrastinated my dieting for more than 8 months now! Oh no... I suck. I hope I can start tomorrow! OMG! Sigh.
xoxo Jank
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
It's been a long time since I've written my last blog. And it's funny how the first words I actually want to shout out are "Work sucks!"I know, right?
A grueling 8 hours, nope, for some people it lasts over a span of 9 to 12 hours. For people whom have totally no life (really rare), their job lasts almost 22 hours everyday. No kidding. How would you like to work a grueling 22 hours a day?
(A resounding "NO!" fills my room.)
Though they earn more than me (they obviously have to! Or else which lunatic wastes their life at work to earn so little!), I just cannot imagine myself working 22 hours a day.
Unless my salary kisses the millions in a month. No, wait, I think my time is more precious. Perhaps when it smells the billion mark.
So, just to work 9 hours a day, I would have to settle for much, much less. But even so, I find somehow find a sense of contentment emotionally. At least I get to reach home at 8pm everyday (this is of course, after long hours of human traffic and train delays).
I can even derive a sense of joy when there is an empty seat in the trains on the way home. I take a seat. It feels really good. I’m thankful to have a seat after a long day of work.
I wouldn’t consider myself a happy person.
I truly find that I can really further increase my everyday happiness.
Even without someone to love.
(This does not include family members though. I already love them like there is no tomorrow.)
Everyday I see so many people whom are unhappy over little things. They get angry over what seems to be really minute. They get frustrated. They get mad. They scold obscenities.
How did I know…? Because I used to be one of those anals stated above.
How could we feel happy even if we had a really bad day at work?
How could we feel happy when we just suddenly feel emo?
I guess here is where the phrase “mind over matter” comes into play. Think we all need to learn to practice controlling our tempers. More so, I’m a Scorpio. We Scorpios have really bad tempers.
Having said and realized that though, I find it really hard to live by those rules.
(Is that another Scorpio trait…?)
Many times I only realize that I should have flared up over some little thing. It just made me feel even worse. I think I just couldn’t let go at that point of time.
I’m learning to control myself.
So I can be a better person with every step of my journey.
I know it sounds like a tacky tagline of a “Quit taking drugs or die” advertisement.
I like that it represents my current resolution. Lets all hope it lasts. =P
xoxo Jank